I hate to repeat myself. My very first blog was about debt. The subject came up again today, though. Originally, I, as my mom would say, "gave the devil" to those of you who choose to dig yourselves into a hole of debt, and "don't know how I got there". You know how you got there. Unfortunately, you definitely had help. And today, I am focusing on those evil people who take advantage of you...
"Pre-qualifying" for a home loan is such a marketing crock. Banks, mortgage companies, and real estate companies all have a hand in using "pre-qualification" to get you somewhere you didn't mean to go. I was in real-estate 13 years ago. I quit when I figured out you don't make good money unless you screw your customer. Real estate agents...another blog, another day.
Pre-qualification = The bank simply looks at your income, your car payments, and some of your other financial commitments, and then tells YOU what you can afford.
So you look at your budget and figure you can afford an $800 house payment. Then the bank says, based on your income, you can afford a $1500 house payment! Then, for some reason, you believe them. "Oh, if they say I can afford it, I guess I can! After all, finances are their speciality." What?! (Umm, the bank forgot you also have to by groceries and heat the house with your income.) THEN, you, with your false sense of security, start looking for "more house" because the bank says you can afford it, and you start to get excited about those houses that you're looking at now, and when you go to get your actual loan approval for that fancy-dancy house, you work harder and do what you have to do for the bank to approve your loan (like asking friends and family for $$ and paying off OTHER BANKS loans and credit cards), because now you're all wrapped up in the house emotionally! It's just like emotionally buying a car (another mistake-another blog), only now you have a signed contract (your offer to purchase the house) that binds you legally to the purchase... as long as you are approved for financing. Yep, when you put an offer on a house, you are signing a contract that says that you WILL purchase the property. It is common in these contracts that your only out is if you can't get approved for a loan. The contract you signed also says that you will use due diligence to secure that loan. Therefore, you cannot get out of the contract by simply NOT looking for financing. There are also other stipulations in the offer, such as inspection results, etc., IF you write them in, but many real estate agents have a "don't ask; don't tell" policy on that. After all, if the sale goes through, your loss is their gain. After closing, it's not their problem. It's yours.
So you struggle to get the financing because of the pressure of the contract you signed AND emotion (and your need to keep up with the Joneses), and when you're sitting there at the closing, and signing all those scary papers, and it hits you that you really can't afford that payment...TOO LATE! You can't back out because you signed that contract with the seller that says you promise to buy the house as long as you are approved by the bank...and they approved you. AHHHHHH!!!! And the bank doesn't care if you can afford it or not, because they are going to sell your loan off to someone else once they get the majority of the interest payments from you, anyway.
And those damn credit card companies... they can also sell off your account to someone else who can change your interest and/or terms any time they want to! BUT, you, the consumer, signed the credit card application with the tiny little print that said you agree to allow the issuer of the card to sell your account any time they want to, to anyone they want to, and the new terms of the new company will be accepted... by you. Ugh.
So the mortgage and credit card companies are manipulative A**HOLES, but bottom line is... there's a signature on the bottom of the contract. Yours. You lose.
One word on contracts: If you feel you have been emotionally pressured or bullied into signing a contract, quickly look into the business laws in your area. Chances are you can rescind by giving written notice to the other party within 3 business days. Your best bet is to sign a contract on a Friday. That way you also get Saturday and Sunday for free to think about it, and have until Wednesday to rescind. On the other hand, the contract may have a cancellation clause, so (duh!) read it carefully before signing it.
Once more...even though I hate repeating myself...
-If you can save the money for it in six months, wait, save, and pay cash.
-If you can't make payments AND put money in savings at the same time, you can't afford it.
-If you can't afford it, don't buy it.
-If you don't read every word of the contract and agree to it, don't sign it.
-If you signed it, don't whine about it. Pay it.
-And, if you have to make payments, don't finance anything else until it's paid off.
Showing posts with label pet peeves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pet peeves. Show all posts
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
E-Mail Forwarding Pressure!!!
So, I received an e-mail this morning. It was a forward. Yes, I get a few of these a day, but this one had something in it, that I see from time to time, that really ruffles my feathers (to say the absolute least). First, let me explain a little about the main content of the piece...
The original author started it out as a light hearted opinion on a few subjects that they felt deserved some attention; illegal aliens (compared to how we are able to locate one diseased cow, but we can't locate 11 million illegal aliens), the loss of the fundamentals of the U. S. Constitution (and how we should just give our Constitution to Iraq, instead of helping them draft one of their own, because we aren't using ours anyway) , and the questionable behavior of lawyers, judges and politicians (in reference to the 10 Commandments not being posted in a courthouse).
So, as I read it, I chuckled. It was humorous. For what it was worth, it was humorous. BUT THEN... the final line in the email was this:
"Also, think about this ... if you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!"
And that's where my half-smile went away, and my eyes started rolling.
I mean, really, what is the purpose of that? Does the original author write this to piss off someone who doesn't agree, OR, is it a pressure tactic to make people feel as if they MUST forward it so they don't feel like they are "part of the problem".
All that does for me is make me delete it... as fast as I can...like the author can tell how fast I deleted it. (And I click the delete button really hard, too.) Silly, I know, but it makes me feel better. I feel I have done my part in NOT sending on that jack-ass's opinion. I'm not much of a "forwarder" anyway. The people I correspond with on a regular basis know that when they get a forward from me, it's usually worth taking a couple minutes to read...I hope.
People need to learn... you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I mean, if you really want to get your opinion out, stick with the humor, and skip that last line. People LOVE humor. People love to think that they have sent along a forward that will make their friends smile, thus moving your e-mail (and opinion) down the chain further. That line makes the savvy reader think, "Oh! This is political propaganda. Maybe I should think twice about this before I forward it." Not in the fear of offending someone, but simply because it's not really humor at all!
On the other hand, you will get those people who think that every one of their friends have all the time in the world and forward EVERYTHING!! (I have an excellent solution to that. I will share it with you at the end of this rant.)
Here's another one I received recently that I REALLY HATED:
"This was not sent to be up for discussion. If you agree, send this on to everyone you know. If you don't agree, just delete it."
UGH!!! In other words, "This is my opinion and I know it's flawed, not thought-out, and one-sided, but I don't really care about your opinion, so don't bother telling it to me."
Are people afraid of a good healthy debate? You know, if someone feels so strongly about something, then they should feel comfortable that their reasons are strong enough to handle a debate on the subject. What are they afraid of? Defending their opinion? What a loser.
Here's a thought: If you get an e-mail with a political or ethical point-of-view, and you share that point-of-view and want to forward it, that's cool. But do this: simply delete that last line. I have a feeling a lot of people leave it in the hopes that it is a "disclaimer" to say that they didn't personally write it, but agree with it. OR, it serves as a "shield" of sorts, so that they won't have to deal with rebuttal.
And while I'm on the subject... What's up with the person who sends you a bundle of e-mail forwards... starting with how God loves you and you are a child of God, and the next one is a filthy sex e-mail?! Last month I received a bundle of forwards from an acquaintance of mine. She's one of those people who forwards absolutely everything! One of the e-mails was the God loves you email, and the next was, get this, a RACIST forward!!! No way!!! Anyone who knows me, knows that I have no tolerance for racism. I lost my mind! Not only was is acutely disgusting, but it was prefaced with a statement that gave credit to a celebrity...who had NOTHING to do with it! I suppose by giving credit to a celebrity it had some sort of "credibility"? Ha Ha! Forgive the redundancy.
HERE'S A TIP, one 30 second search on SNOPES.COM will more often than not prove many questionable e-mails false. A child needs to collect 1,000,000 e-mails to get the heart transplant they need? NO. Bill Gates will give you a computer if you forward this to 100 friends? NO. That sickening picture of the guy on the motorcycle with his head in the back of a semi actually survived? NO!! He was dead! You sent a picture of a dead guy to all your friends because you actually believed the e-mail when it said he survived! I'm sure his family appreciated that.
Do everyone a favor, and check out SNOPES.com before you waste your time and mine while simultaneously making yourself look like a fool.
Finally, I promised you a cool solution to the problem of the uncontrollable e-mail forwarder. Go to http://www.stopforwarding.us/ . Here you can send a blunt, but nicely written and completely anonymous e-mail to the offending person.
Thanks for listening.
The original author started it out as a light hearted opinion on a few subjects that they felt deserved some attention; illegal aliens (compared to how we are able to locate one diseased cow, but we can't locate 11 million illegal aliens), the loss of the fundamentals of the U. S. Constitution (and how we should just give our Constitution to Iraq, instead of helping them draft one of their own, because we aren't using ours anyway) , and the questionable behavior of lawyers, judges and politicians (in reference to the 10 Commandments not being posted in a courthouse).
So, as I read it, I chuckled. It was humorous. For what it was worth, it was humorous. BUT THEN... the final line in the email was this:
"Also, think about this ... if you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!"
And that's where my half-smile went away, and my eyes started rolling.
I mean, really, what is the purpose of that? Does the original author write this to piss off someone who doesn't agree, OR, is it a pressure tactic to make people feel as if they MUST forward it so they don't feel like they are "part of the problem".
All that does for me is make me delete it... as fast as I can...like the author can tell how fast I deleted it. (And I click the delete button really hard, too.) Silly, I know, but it makes me feel better. I feel I have done my part in NOT sending on that jack-ass's opinion. I'm not much of a "forwarder" anyway. The people I correspond with on a regular basis know that when they get a forward from me, it's usually worth taking a couple minutes to read...I hope.
People need to learn... you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I mean, if you really want to get your opinion out, stick with the humor, and skip that last line. People LOVE humor. People love to think that they have sent along a forward that will make their friends smile, thus moving your e-mail (and opinion) down the chain further. That line makes the savvy reader think, "Oh! This is political propaganda. Maybe I should think twice about this before I forward it." Not in the fear of offending someone, but simply because it's not really humor at all!
On the other hand, you will get those people who think that every one of their friends have all the time in the world and forward EVERYTHING!! (I have an excellent solution to that. I will share it with you at the end of this rant.)
Here's another one I received recently that I REALLY HATED:
"This was not sent to be up for discussion. If you agree, send this on to everyone you know. If you don't agree, just delete it."
UGH!!! In other words, "This is my opinion and I know it's flawed, not thought-out, and one-sided, but I don't really care about your opinion, so don't bother telling it to me."
Are people afraid of a good healthy debate? You know, if someone feels so strongly about something, then they should feel comfortable that their reasons are strong enough to handle a debate on the subject. What are they afraid of? Defending their opinion? What a loser.
Here's a thought: If you get an e-mail with a political or ethical point-of-view, and you share that point-of-view and want to forward it, that's cool. But do this: simply delete that last line. I have a feeling a lot of people leave it in the hopes that it is a "disclaimer" to say that they didn't personally write it, but agree with it. OR, it serves as a "shield" of sorts, so that they won't have to deal with rebuttal.
And while I'm on the subject... What's up with the person who sends you a bundle of e-mail forwards... starting with how God loves you and you are a child of God, and the next one is a filthy sex e-mail?! Last month I received a bundle of forwards from an acquaintance of mine. She's one of those people who forwards absolutely everything! One of the e-mails was the God loves you email, and the next was, get this, a RACIST forward!!! No way!!! Anyone who knows me, knows that I have no tolerance for racism. I lost my mind! Not only was is acutely disgusting, but it was prefaced with a statement that gave credit to a celebrity...who had NOTHING to do with it! I suppose by giving credit to a celebrity it had some sort of "credibility"? Ha Ha! Forgive the redundancy.
HERE'S A TIP, one 30 second search on SNOPES.COM will more often than not prove many questionable e-mails false. A child needs to collect 1,000,000 e-mails to get the heart transplant they need? NO. Bill Gates will give you a computer if you forward this to 100 friends? NO. That sickening picture of the guy on the motorcycle with his head in the back of a semi actually survived? NO!! He was dead! You sent a picture of a dead guy to all your friends because you actually believed the e-mail when it said he survived! I'm sure his family appreciated that.
Do everyone a favor, and check out SNOPES.com before you waste your time and mine while simultaneously making yourself look like a fool.
Finally, I promised you a cool solution to the problem of the uncontrollable e-mail forwarder. Go to http://www.stopforwarding.us/ . Here you can send a blunt, but nicely written and completely anonymous e-mail to the offending person.
Thanks for listening.
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